some days are shittier than others

some days it just sucks arse being single, and this week I've had 2 of them.

One only comes around once a year - birthday. Being single on my birthday, means for me anyway, that the only people who are sending me messages are family, strange websites, insurance companies and one overseas friend who read their friends birthday list on facebook. The rest of you SUCK!!! OK, so having a birthday isn't exactly the toughest thing to achieve - but i kept breathing - for the whole year!!

the other, was being sick - really sick, throwing up type sick - in the middle of the night. Lost 1kg in my efforts.
Sure, i dont want anyone to be around me while I'm like that, but I do miss the attentive "can i get you anything" or the little checking ins, that make you feel less alone. Hell, I'd even settle for a decent flatmate to offer to pick up my kid from school.

I know, I'm very social, but it takes me a long time to actually trust people with normal everyday stuff - well, I have to trust them that they wont let me down, and that I'm not putting them out. And I'm too proud, so while i drop hints that I'm getting older etc, and people might ask me the date, and i tell them, after all I'm not ashamed about getting older, I somehow think they will remember me.
Perhaps people do remember me, just not enough to care.

I really am alone.