Sven please - just one

Shit, I have come to realise, that i am only attracted to emotionally unattachable men, or losers. or perhaps these are the only guys that I hook up with.

Whenever I have found a 'nice' guy, respectable with good job etc, I'm either not interested, or he's not interested.

At the moment I have been shagging a guy, that is in the emotional category - which is fine, but it does mean that I have to wait until he gets horny enough for his dick to over rule his brain, and this doesn't happen soon enough for my liking, and I have only a little control to influence this. Still in a slightly better place than i was a couple of months ago, so I shan't complain too loudly.

I have developed a new theory, basically there seems to be a relationship between the number of times you have sex within a certain time frame, to be able to move onto more experimental/kinky stuff. there must be a mathematical equation such as: x/t>k, not quite rght, but i'm sure you get the idea.

Feet first

I was a bit hesitant, at first. Scared, not of the action or him.

I was hesitant due to the after effect. it wont happen for a while, but it will happen.

This after effect happens after or near the end of the 'friend with benefit' and isn't so much targeted at this particular friend. It's where i get tired/bored with the lack of connection and start to want more than just the fun. It's that part that sucks. That's what I'm scared of.

But i know, and say screw it... I'll do it anyway, spice up my life, get some action. I'm not worried about getting involved with him, i like my independence too much, and he is a little obsessive with his GFs, not to mention it'll be a long time till he's over his last. Also he likes tuna - deal breaker ;)

in other news I think i just felt the earth move!

Career Advice:

Dear Mr Veitch,

it has come to my attention that you will soon be out of work, and I have taken it upon myself to offer you some career advice. This is mostly due to the fact I don't want to support you via the dole/unemployment benefit.
Firstly accept you will not be able to work in television for the next 3-5 years, and radio will be out for the next 2. These are my minimum estimates.
During this time no doubt you will have mortgages to pay, lawyer fees and will not be entitled to any Woman's Day funds.
Choose a new career based on your strengths. As you have displayed aptitude with your boot, perhaps a career with demolishion? I would suggest 'Jockey' but I'm not sure any horse owner would want you near their prized ponies, and really it would just be a dig at your stature.

Counsellor for abusers might sit well, although you may want to realise that having no excuse means just that.

When faced with those in depth interview questions I am sure you have a new "lowest moment", "greatest weakness" and "strength".

I hope this assists you moving forward

For further advice please consult a careers adviser.

Future Mrs MacGyver

T-shirt slogans

I instant message, with Messenger - I mostly use this cause my less computer people use it, and it doesn't seem to have as many bugs as ICQ. Anyway, there is this thing where you can put a little comment in or something, a little like the FB one, but it doesn't have to be so personal.
One of my friends who is on MSN but not FB or LJ and i think she may know about this blog, but i doubt she reads it - although she'd probably have a bloody good laugh if she did - ANYWAY, she laughed at one of my MSN comments the other day and suggested I do some T-shirts.
Good idea in theory, however most on my comments are a little long winded, and not quite quippy enough - not to mention the fact that i am a lazy arse, full of ideas but not preparred to do anything about them.
except share; if you want to go and get them printed and make a heap of dosh, just let me know, send me a pic!

• If chippies say "light" and only cost 99cents then they are practically diet food
• with no man to make me feel safe, I'm making Pie
• I may look like a panda, but i know no Kung Fu
  

there are more - normally they are associated with how I am feeling at the time, I just can't remember them.

the plan was not mine

but it's working. I have been lamenting the lack of comments on my blogs, and while the main reason i have no comment here is because not many people know this blog exists. However my main PC LJ people know about, but no comments. Perhaps I keep all the juicy stuff for here?
anyway I have implemented a plan to get more readers for over there, and when the time is right, i will direct them here... maybe.

A while ago, I joined Facebook, and when i did there were some comments floating around about the 'relationship' status and how some people only found out about their relationship ended when friends sent them condolance messages. Well, that happened to one of my friends tonight. kind of. He already knew he was on a break... but now things look like they may have taken a turn for the worse... of course she could have just removed it from her profile.

in more 'MacGyver' news: I am currently flirting via email with one of my suppliers :) I just hope he is in his 30's. Fingers crossed!

It was me - I swear!

quite often I think of things and believe i have invented the next/latest thing. todays such thing is:

Porn-pal. that is right, like a pen pal, but you watch porn together over the internet connection.

I have one now. It has moved from being porn, to supplying porn now I am the Porn-pal.

Actually i am starting to wonder if I'm just a Porn-dealer - no, I haven't received funds... yet.

So Porn-pal it is.

while i realise this is not a new concept or activity.. I'm just naming it. This way it can end up on Wikipedia :)

Dream for a day...

Today: I would like a gay boyfriend. I think this would be loverly. someone to whom I can go home to and show off my new boots, and he would tell me I look fabulous.

I could also get him to help me with any and all sewing projects and he wouldn't look at me like I was a nana... he'd acknowledge me for my creative genius.

While I'm dreaming.. he would also cook amazing low fat food, clean my house and line up straight men for me to shag. He WOULD NOT wear my clothes, although he may steal my fashion ideas because I have such great taste. He would be delightfully snarky and sarcastic.

There is a lot that goes on in my head

and not all of it is pretty.

Most of the time I twitter on about the more irrelevent head space happenings, they are the parts I like, therefore the parts I concentrate on.

At the moment a friend of mine is going through a break up, and I am reminded a little too well of the break up of my marriage. Now while I fully accept that this was for the best, I am better off divorced, it still hurt like fuck. I can take myself back to that time, and while the pain has been numbed slightly, it still leaves a hole. The worst day i think was when I went to visit some friends. I went round without my daughter, and spent an hour or so there. Some of the time I just cried, but I couldn't bring myself to say the words out loud. For ages they had very little idea of what was wrong, but they let me be me and I am grateful for that.

you know what? I can't put that pain into words. It's like a knife that was trust into me, and left there for days. Part of it was removed but there is a piece still there - I know it, causing damage probably and reminding me of the horribleness of that time. He might not have been worth it, but I did love him. Completely. I now wish I could find someone worthy to do it all again.

It's hard to watch my friend go through it all, I know there is nothing that can be said or done to make any of it better. Even if she did come back to him.