We all have our abilities

and one of mine seems to be the ability to get the most bizarre injuries while doing things that I cant tell my mum about!

OK, I have never had a broken bone, other than my front 2 teeth (these are capped so you can't tell). I dont run, or do any other extreme exercise so, i dont get pulled muscles, dislocate anything or even suffer from that shin thing. I am naturally fairly flexible which possibly helps me.

I have however incurred fairly normal and abnormal mishaps while in the throws of passion including breaking furniture, burnt fingers (reaching for a condom with a candle nearby) singed head hair (same candle, different occasion) while blowing out candle, carpet burn, cramp etc.

This morning however, while reading on my laptop (yes it was porn) I was attempting to 'multi-task' and my computer leant forward and smacked me on the top of my nose. it bled and it hurts still... awwwwie I am starting to understand how you could possibly go blind!

If you read this... tell me your favourite sexually related injury... please.

Anyone want to be my personal Trainer??

I can't pay you.

blame spring, but i've been reading about yoga, and think perhaps it is time to get back into doing my yoga or pilates. I have the DVDs still, and the mat.

I have several problems with this plan:
1. I'm lazy
2. Time
3. Lazy.

the first I could conquer if i have some supportive/nagging friends to motivate me.
the second is a little harder. Being a single mother of a nosey 7year old, it would be best when she is not around... which then make it after 7:30pm - by which time i am tired, and just wanting to relax!! but with the crap that is on telly... it wouldn't be too hard to be persuaded. which brings me to item 3.

If i did get off my lazy arse... things that would encourage me:

Increased flexibility (this would onflow to being even better in the sack - hard to imagine i know!)
Sleep better (not that i have any problems in this area)
Feel generally good.
Might look trimmer
Be stronger

actually i think all of the above would lead me to being the potential porn star I know i want to be (without the cameras thank you). I should set a start date... 1st September?

well, that was fun!

i keep wanting to post, but have little to say.

today i was reading "Tongan Ninja" as "Trojan Ninja"... i'm not sure why. the former looks like a hilarious movie, so i have put it on my fatso wish list - the list was starting to deplete so lucky that!

"Trojan Ninja" however, is probably out there in the 'Adult Only' section although in my mind it now takes form of a Panda coming of age. when i think a little harder about it though... i get the idea of man in black, silently sneaking into womens houses, shagging them with stealth and then leaving with no one the wiser. Perhaps this would be best portrayed as an Austin Powers film?

In relation to forming relations: I met the neighbour a couple of weekends ago. He came over and mowed half my lawn (i'd already done the first half) and last weekend he popped over for a cuppa. He is the right age, but he has no job or car and lives with his Aunt, uncle and other family. Nice enough - but NO WAY!!!
I am planning to have a party the first weekend of September :) already have a couple of people confirmed. Hurrah!!

The Cards Have It!

some of my friends are aware I own a set of Tarot cards, and recently i have been using them a bit more. It always surprises me, when their accuracy is so good.

Dont get me wrong, I firmly believe that we are masters of our own destiny, but sometimes being given a direction to take can help - if only to settle ones brain.

And so, to find the man of my dreams (or tarot) - and i have been assured it will be a man! I need to get completely out of my confort zone and try something new - or a new opportunity will come my way, possibly including travel... this will introduce me to someone creative, humerous and kind (my man), then i get led into a period of resources being stretched.

If this doesn't come about within the next 5 years, I have a back up! whew! (well so long as my back up doesn't get his own front-up).

Now if any one else wants a reading done for them - FOR FUN ONLY - please ask, and let me know if you want either: general reading, or specific issue. I don't need to know the issue.

after re-reading my last post, i realised that it may have sounded like i was having sex with the lawn... sorry, not the case, i didn't even get naked on the lawn. I mowed it.

Last night, i thought for a few hours that i had crashed my MacBook. oh the horror! luckily i always have the ploy that if I unplug and leave things alone for a few hours (while at work for example) they fix them selves and fortunately Apple are of the same mind :) hurrah! working computer again.
All i did was agree to install an update!

In other news; one of my friends at the weekend strongly suggested I should get a boyfriend. Several problems with that
- I've been trying (kind of) well, as much as i'm prepared to 'try'
- I like it when the shag goes home, i love my own space
- none of my friends are introducing me to anyone!!

sigh, friends! maybe i should teach them and hook up with a thoroughly unacceptable specimin... again.

I confess - I'm a nyphomaniac

I woke up horny. I woke up from a dream where everyone was having sex except me. While i didn't DO anything about my horniness except text my 'Porn-pal'. This exasperated things somewhat, and then i took out my frustration on my lawn.

Finally i got to the point where a booty call was in order, and bribes were accepted. Everything was going well, in fact everything went well... except one minor point. He called me by his ex's name.

I haven't called him on it, for several reasons.
1. I'm not looking at starting an actual relationship with him, therefore he can call me what he likes, so long as he's shagging me at the time!
2. I understand how hard it is when you come out of a long term relationship and you are sooo very used to only saying that name.
3. it would have ruined the moment

now i wonder if i should mention it, or pretend it never happened.

good intentions live elsewhere

Not a lot happening on the social front really.

Internally i think i have reached the point of realisation of leaving the past behind me and looking forward. I can't change or more to the point re-live the past just by thinking about it, and dwelling. So it is what it was... now, what's next?

This thinking has made me feel somewhat free, and lighter. although this winter eating habits have left me somewhat heavier. I REALLY need to start some diet, or even simply not eat so much. I've been like a large pac-woman... munch munch munch!!


hahahah... I'm off to lunch now :)