Cheers to Old Friends

wow! I feel like i have had a weekend in the middle of the week! so now i have the weekend to recover :)

I'm a people person. Most of my favourite memories are made great because of the people who have been around me. On Wednesday Chris arrived from Chch. We met in 1st year uni, both of us fresh out of high school, in a Hall of Residence... in the laundry. As there were about 4 'Chris' in the Hall, I referred to him as "Laundromat Chris".

Gorgeous guy, wicked smile & doing the same course as me. Mostly due to me realising he was out of my league & the one other REALLY hot guy was already taken, I adopted the "don't screw the crew" rule for the year & developed friendships with these guys instead. Have to admit I was pretty mixed up, but hey, show me a 18year old who has life all sorted out.

And so for the next 2 years the "usual" uni life ensued, studying, failing, partying, passing, flatting, boyfriends, girlfriends, drama, hijinks... the usual. Through all these I developed some good friends & with facebook, it is easier now to keep in touch.
life happens and as i have always been one to take opportunities, I moved cities & did some stuff, returned to chch, Chris had moved away, but in 2000 a mutual friend of ours organised a Booze Bus trip, & we both went on it - it was an awesome night, not that many of the people on the bus remember much of it! that was the last time we saw each other.

10 years later, he still is has his wicked smile & is just as hot. My daughter & met him in town & we went to Fidels for tea. Great catching up, we had a great meal, just relaxing & yarning.
Thursday, my girl went & stayed at her friends place & Chris & I went to AC DC. Not only was the concert rocking!!! the crowd were awesome, people were friendly, the sun was shining! It was the best night in ages!!

In the mosh pit rocking it out, I started to realise a small part of the groupie scene & how these skinny unattractive rockers get laid so easily. not sure whether it was the alcohol, the sweat in the air (pheromones?), the natural endorphins from jumping up & down, or the hot guy behind me who occasionally held my hand or waist to guide me into a spot ... but if I'd thought I had a chance, i might have jumped him then and there... or dragged him home straight after anyway.
In any case, we had a fantastic night, went to a bar afterwards & sat outside, I started to relax with some water & he enjoyed a pint, we talked with some people who were around & just relaxed. Finally got home about 1:30am & crashed for a few hours. Dropped him off at the ferry terminal about 7:30am, & sorted myself out for work. Caffeine helped.
I hope it doesn't take another 10 years before I get to do something like that again.

Selfish... how to?

so one of my goals this year is to be a bit selfish. Sounds crazy, but I have been told I have no selfish bone in my body... more than one person agreed with this and so I endeavour to find that bone, and either use it or choose not to.

This week I invited myself over to a friends house for fish n chips and while spending time with him, I realised how much I miss DR MCC. For many reasons. I sometimes wish that there were horrible things to remember, but there were no bad moments... for me. And so, today I text him & said that "this sucks more than I thought it would" he diplomatically replied "it's never easy".
Normally I would not have text him, but i thought it might be a little bit selfish to do so. As much as I miss him and his amazing head massages, if he suddenly called & said he made a horrible mistake and wants to be with me... I'm not sure I could. I know that things could not be the same & I would always be expecting him to break it off again.

So I need this week to eat some veges and get my head space in a more ok place... then attend his house warming next Sunday.

And I need to learn to be selfish.

Do all good things have to come to an end?

hopefully not, but this one did.

after 6 months - fin. words were used such as "run it's course" "our personalities not being right in a relationship" & I didn't argue - after all what's the point? if he feels that way, then that's the way it is. And if he doesn't really feel that way, then he is a liar and has more issues than I ever want to deal with!

It was unexpected, but then I have been out of town for a week & maybe that time gave him the opportunity to reflect. I am sad, but not an emotional wreck or anything. I think he is a pretty awesome guy, & while I cared for him, it was more as a friend.

It has been hard to imagine things progressing further - not being able to see where the "next step" might be or even if there needed to be one. I was content & happy with everything in my life.
now I am a little sad about just a part of it.

Drinking will commence on Friday night - the break up binge... an important part of every break-up :)