Controlling the Chaos - CtC

CtC has come about due to factors that happened just before Christmas.

1. my ex-hubby deciding to more to Wellington
2. another ex wanting me to contact him.

Since 1, happened before 2, I was ok with this, and moderately happy to see how it will all eventuate. It will be better for our daughter, and hopefully will mean I have a little more free time to socialise. I just need to remain strong and make sure that I'm not walked over and my needs are also heard.

2. this ex, is the jailbird-ex. He is MAJOR drama, and I really don't want to get involved again. I also dont need to get involved again. After speaking with some friends i actually met through him, and they are also choosing to avoid him, I feel a lot more at peace with this decision. Luckily - or perhaps fate just loves me this year - when i put the wrong cell number on my (NYB) New Year Bloke's LJ, he may have read it - I have already deleted the message with the right number - there is another connection with my NYB. damn that circle is far too small!! Fortunately NYB really dislikes jailbird-ex.

then the Steve thing. He's mentioned here:

Multiple Minor Failures!

He's someone i met through my work life and I like chatting with him, but know he's into some more serious-than-I-would-like-to-be S&M stuff. Since it is a bit more extreme than i want, and I find it a little scary, I have said no thanks.

In my past there have been a few different reasons of why I have done stuff, sometimes an opportunity has come up, and i've thought yes, lets give that a go! and other times, I have just let stuff happen to me, because i have made no decision at all.
Making no decision is how i got involved in the jailbird-ex fiasco, so from now, I am going to choose which fiascos I take on - hence Controlling the Chaos - or perhaps a little better - Choosing the Chaos.

Most of the rest of my life I have been playing it like it is a giant list of 'Things to Do'. I like lists, checking them off etc, and while I know i could excell I really only feel a need to pass, and in my day, a pass was 50%. I think i have managed to cram a fair bit into my life so far, and while i know i have a lot of life left to fill, i finally feel like I can be a bit more selective about what I fill it with. It's like i have the quantity, now let's find the quality.

on a less serious note... a ponderance: why is it that all the lesbians I know, look nothing like the hot blonde lesbians on Redtube????