T-shirt slogans

I instant message, with Messenger - I mostly use this cause my less computer people use it, and it doesn't seem to have as many bugs as ICQ. Anyway, there is this thing where you can put a little comment in or something, a little like the FB one, but it doesn't have to be so personal.
One of my friends who is on MSN but not FB or LJ and i think she may know about this blog, but i doubt she reads it - although she'd probably have a bloody good laugh if she did - ANYWAY, she laughed at one of my MSN comments the other day and suggested I do some T-shirts.
Good idea in theory, however most on my comments are a little long winded, and not quite quippy enough - not to mention the fact that i am a lazy arse, full of ideas but not preparred to do anything about them.
except share; if you want to go and get them printed and make a heap of dosh, just let me know, send me a pic!

• If chippies say "light" and only cost 99cents then they are practically diet food
• with no man to make me feel safe, I'm making Pie
• I may look like a panda, but i know no Kung Fu
  

there are more - normally they are associated with how I am feeling at the time, I just can't remember them.